sleeperchance

Story has it that a thief was captured and hauled before the local ruler. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't have you put to death," the monarch said. The thief replied, "Your majesty, I can teach your finest horse to sing – if you give me a year to do it!" The court burst out in laughter at this, and the ruler, bemused, said, "Very well. You will be imprisoned in the royal stable besides my finest stallion, and in a year if he cannot sing, you will be put to death." So every day the prisoner sang to the horse. Eventually one of the stablehands sneered at the prisoner, "I don't see why you bother. Everyone knows horses can't sing. Your stupid gambit gained you nothing."

"To the contrary!" replied the prisoner with equanimity, "It gained me a whole year which I didn't have before. A lot can happen in a year. The king may die. The horse may die. I may die.

And maybe he horse will learn to sing."

I just got this email announcement from Patreon:

A big win for creators

We've got great news: you'll soon be able to earn from U.S. fans through the iOS app again, and the November 2025 subscription billing requirement deadline is no longer in effect.

Thanks to a recent U.S. court ruling, Apple must now allow apps to offer U.S. based users checkout options outside of Apple's in-app purchase system (which includes the 30% Apple fee)—something that was previously prohibited under Apple's App Store requirements.

[...]

Last year, we let you know that all creators would need to switch to subscription billing by November 2025. This forced switch wasn't something we chose — it was the result of needing to comply with Apple's requirements at the time or risk the removal of Patreon's app from the App Store. While we've long believed subscription billing is the strongest long-term model for creators, forced compliance with Apple's mandates and deadlines was obviously not how we ever wanted to roll out changes to creators on Patreon.

We've stayed in close conversation with Apple and have continued advocating for a more flexible approach — one that gives creators more time and choice. As a result of the recent court ruling and changes on Apple's end, the November 2025 deadline is no longer in effect.

In other words, no, I don't have to convert away from the by-works funding model.

Yet again I have prevailed over adversity by means of my greatest superpower: spite procrastination.

Sucks to be a responsible Patreon creator who duly responded to the deadline by converting their account – Patreon doesn't let you revert that change – or by migrating off Patreon well in advance. Those folks kind of got screwed. I know that if I had bailed to some sort of lifeboat option, and possibly paid handsomely and compromised my personal security to do it, I would be really pissed off right about now.